Monday, 1 October 2012

OH EM EF GEE (aka The Worst Monday For Six Years)

So this is how it went:
  • 9am Jobcentre Plus to sort out son's JSA letter re 'no money'. Disconcerting as it has been so long since I signed on (24 years) that I didn't know the place had moved! Scary place with many 'differently attired' people (ie hoodies, hoodies with aTiTood) and security guards wtf. Anyway nice lady, thanks Kate, explained how it all worked out ...and now we know, although the original letter did not explain AT ALL, and son had got in a state about it. Previous evening had to explain fiercely to The FW that we would deal with this situation My Way and not through snail mail (weeks&weeks& weeksetcblahblahblah) and I believe we did the right thing.  Sorted.  On walk back to car discussed managing money and that mummy is always right in financial situations. Son agreed, and meant it!
  • Back home and decided to get vacuum out and tidy bedroom (that was a tip because the eaves storage had a leak and now shite all over the place (Xmas cards/stockings, spare duvets, you name it!) Before I had a chance to dust off the bags/boxes etc the phone rang - Darling Mum-in-Law has MRSA, she is in hospital and has been for 14 weeks now. Originally to find out why she was falling over which had resulted in two nasty wounds on her arms. She has been caring for Father in Law who has Alzheimers and she had become exhausted so we decided Dad had to go into respite for two weeks whilst mum had rest.  Whilst being moved to ward in wheelchair on admission Porter banged her leg on a bed resulting in another bad wound. This was not dealt with at the time by sister in law, anyway long story short MiL has MRSA which had been denied three times when asked about by SiL.  Mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia within 48 hours of admission.  As a result of the extended time in hospital and the infection etc this has rapidly become apparent, distressingly so.  Within 10 weeks the change has been huge and  many upsetting things have happened to her and her behaviour/language/appearance has deteriorated massively. She was always smart, made up, nice hair and pleasant to talk to and be with. Now she is skinny, unkempt, bad and racist language, stroppy, childish, raising her nightdress to show her body etc. It is unbearable for us to see our lovely mum in this state.
  • On arrival home we were starving, and were having tea and bics whilst son prepared dinner (he is a good lad) the phone rang friend in hysterics because there is a fuckoff great rat in her kitchen..........fuck me says I and off we go to buy rat bait and macdonalds as she and her daughter are starving and too scared to go in kitchen. In the meantime the neighbours go round and shove round under the cabinets, there is a big hole they block up and luckily no droppings, we think this may be first visit. (My friend has fibromyalgia and severe and chronic back condition and she is having a procedure in the next county on wednesday (same hosp as MiL's fecked up her back last year!!) So hilarity proceeds as we crawl around kitchen putting down bait (method: she fills trays/I put them on floor/she pushes them under cupboards using broom, repeat) then getting the plinth back in place. Her daughter is pissing herself laughing at these two old broads on their knees, swearing and laughing hysterically, snorting and farting all the you think we scared the bastard rat off p'raps! Oh she is in such pain and trying to cope with her elderly mum, teenage daughter, wanker ex husband and helping older daughter with active baby grandson is taking a toll on her too. All I can do is run the odd errand (she has no car cos some stupid old bastard crashed into her and wrote hers off and increased her back problems, he is probably back on the road none the worse for it stupid old git!) and make her laugh and take the piss out of her unmercifully - well  some-one's got to do it!!
  • So home again knackered, The FW to deal with SiL and arrange paperwork for complaint to PALS, me to get ready for tomorrow - fasting blood test (needing diazepam and emla cream - such fun) then straight on to dentist (might as get full use of the diazepam chuckle) for new partial denture ummm sexy. So will be walking 3 miles to cottage hospital for blood test, wander through high street smiling sweetly at all and sundry on way to dentist then wander home, lovely.  Cup of tea, short nap then carry on as normal - Normal, what the fuck is that I hear you say.
Crumbs, don't I go on, you should hear me talk *larf*

PS hear this eve that MiL has magically been moved to super duper ward especially for severe infections...hmm is this anything to do with us asking to see her notes and then sitting in her room photographing them whilst staff just happened to be standing outside in corridor 'chatting'.  The shit is going to hit the fan, big time.


  1. Oh my, I needed a 'larf', and thank you found it here with you x Keep writing, you are fab x x

    1. ps what I mean you write wonderfully x

    2. Yep, I do talk like this (brackets an' all), people have to listen hard to keep up lol. I have got commoner (is that a word?) as I have got older and spend less time with well spoken FW's family, ie they are posh on top and arseholes underneath. ooooh I just made myself laugh there. Actually they are working class with aspirations, snort. My darling friends say I am 'the turn' and FW's family have no idea that I am funny and barely listen when I speak or often interrupt/ talk over me.. bastards. Am I bitter and twisted....after 30 years yes I bleedin' well am.
      I love your blog john, when your page comes up and those hens glare at you, oh my; and the 'went the day well' pic...that's me that is, hmmmm who is under the weapon I wonder..............

    3. Thanks hun, if I can take my friend from panicky hysterics (ie rat) to hysterically laughing my life is worthwhile.
      When she went through a nasty divorce we would go from bitter tears to sobs to watery smiles to belly laughs over the course of three hours, and it was worth every second.
      You inspire me to write more, I was hesitant to start with, I may re-visit the failed 'Not Making Tea' post one day if I can remember it lol.
      PS pop over to 'A Thrifty Mrs' and read SeeSaw I had no idea she had so much pain.

  2. I bet you talk JUST THE SAME AS YOU BLOG


This is a place for me, to try and make sense of my world, and my place in it. My family and friends do not know about this, I need some privacy, peace and freedom.
Please don' t leave unkind comments, I have enough of that in 'real life'.