Tuesday, 27 March 2012

How do I........

add the blogs that I read on to my page?  Any help/tips would be very much appreciated. 
PS I have so much to write about, but no time or private space at mo.  See you when I can. 
PPS . Feeling a bit better....x

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Thank You

Thank you to everyone for my comments, I really appreciate them.  

I am feeling better today, what started as 'the pit' Monday afternoon, it gradually lifted to 'ok' Thursday and 'quite good' today.  I wonder if it is still connected to hormones.  I am post menopausal (5 years in - gah!). I had pnd after 2nd child which became so bad the doc put me on depo-provera injections for 2 1/2 years which helped incredibly but affected my fertility in the short term - it took my periods another 18mths to come back, and made the wait for my daughter  longer (8 years in total).  I usually found that if I didn't suffer physically with water retention (sore boobs) it went to my head (yep - water on the brain - doc actually said that!!) and caused depression/irritability etc.  The fact that the depression comes on unexpectedly/quickly and only lasts at its peak 36/48 hours makes me think it could still be hormones, I may go see gp, although I have never officially mentioned the 'D' word in the surgery, I think the time has come.

I have quite a lot to learn, compared to all the loverly blogs I read, how to make a reading list, then maybe pics etc. On my list of things to 'learn' this year is a) how to download music and put it on a cd/getting to grips with photos on the computer (I have linux thanks to computer whiz son) so have to learn how the desktop works/how to make a 'nice' blog. I am not a technophobe but the 'menopausal brain' is not helping!!  (I also really need to tidy cupboards/drawers/storage and get rid of stuff - if we need to leave this house due to FW's crappy financial (mis)management then I need to seriously declutter!!)

There is so much to tell about my life that I am not sure how to do it - chronological/ancedotal/ random.  There seems to be so much to tell, I don't want to bore you - or myself - but I do need to get stuff out of my head (oooops interrupted by FW, I'll  just pop on to a random blog page)... so that I can sleep better and de-clutter my head too!.

Re - FW brief description: 50something/overweight/10 years on meds for blood pressure/cholesterol etc/self-employed/self-obsessed/self-absorbed/self-important/ selfish/hypocritical/serial flirt/serial adulterer/serial pub visitor/narcissist.....I could go on but I've run out of words!

Davina/Dermot dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll leave you now, this is getting a bit long, if I can find a photo I'll try to add it.

PS.  well there's the photo... (tho not at all where I thought it would turn up)....... of mollie sneakily crept in in my bed, comfy much?

Monday, 19 March 2012

Mother's Day Blues

Mother's Day Blues

Lord I love my kids, but yesterday Was Not GReat.
Made my own tea, went to cemetery for my mother, came back, prepped dinner, went to see mother in law with family for a short time (PiLs are elderly, father in law has alzheimers), came home opened presents on my own (couldn't stand the thought of opening them 'in public', cooked mini roast (I certainly wasn't going for a bloody great dinner/pudding etc... bugger that), cleaned up, made more tea and watched Pride and Prejudice again!!! whilst crocheting daughter's stripe (lovely Lucy Attic 24 inspired) blanket, watched Dancing on Ice/Orbit, went to bed thinking 'thank god that's over for another year'.  
Am I a miserable bitch?

Nuff respect for all treasured mummies out there ....


PS explanations are prob needed re husband (I need to think what to call him...FW for F***Wit maybe... hmmmm).

PPS ES - eldest son, YS - younger son, PD - precious daughter, SS - Step son

PPPS - Got the big 50 on the horizon, wonder what joys that will bring!

PPPPS - Yep.... miserable bitch

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Scary, huh?

scary, huh?

Do I have anything to say?

I have always had a lot to chat about, but have never written a diary, tho I regret this as there is a lot I remember, and would like to remember - timescales/ incidents etc.

I don't have an interesting life like other bloggers I read, sometimes enviously, (not proud of this).  Some would say I have had an interesting life, but not in a good way.  

I deal with depression daily (I don't say 'suffer' - depression is me, in my genes and in my hormones).  I have never been to the doctor with this but may do in the near(?) future.  Who knows?  We shall see...

I love to laugh with my children and friends, enjoy music, books, 'good' tv (ahem also 'bad'), crochet, knitting (beginner), stitching (don't have the time or braincells at the moment), I have dolls houses but this hobby is evading me also, to my regret.

There are many details I may share with you or may not, this may be something or nothing, I don't know.  I am not talented or inspirational like Lucy at Attic24, Jacquie at Bunny Mummy, whose colours and tutorials I love and am working on at the moment.

I have a very full yarn bag (I still slip up and call it 'wool') - thanks to stylecraft and ebay, several projects on the go and at the moment neglecting my domestic life and creating blankets instead!

Love to all of you....

PS. I really don't want this to be a miseryfest but I do want to be honest.