Thursday, 1 November 2012

After stomping for a bit I decided to 'publish'

I think there are some people who click on 'Next Blog', skim read then comment on a small part of it.

To clarify -

I worked for 20 years with no pay in The FW's business, whilst caring for children and elderly parents in the years I couldn't drive.  Exhaustion wasn't the word. 
Then when he decided to Limit the business he had to pay me and boy did he hate it, I had to remind him every single month it was payday, sometimes he paid himself twice!!.  My mistake was to save my salary, (after I had paid off the debts I had accrued during the previous dry spell, see below), because that is what we lived on in 2010/11 when we had no income. 

When he said the immortal words again last year "there's no money for food" - this is whilst driving around in a Jaguar XKR pissing it up the wall every freakin' night - my heart dropped again - the first time was when I had to give up being a foster carer in 2002 due to the negative impact it had on my (then) little girl.  He 'punished' me by telling me there was no money for food then, so I stupidly bought it on my credit card 'cos I had children to feed, until I got my cleaning job, and then magically he 'gave' me a few quid towards the food bill.  So I had a cleaning job, working with no pay in the business, child care (which included hospital stuff) until we went limited company 2006 and I gave up the cleaning.

After the terrible years of '06 and '07 when I found out he was cheating on me whilst my daughter had a major heart operation (in '08 I realised he had cheated pretty much from when I fell pregnant with first child in '85 and all throughout the losses of both my parents).  I decided to stay because my child was post-operative and traumatised and also we had a business and workmen that relied on us for their living.  After all that I decided to have some me time - it was great for about 18 months, gym, shopping, lunching....then the shit hit the fan, and still I am staying because I have no parents to go home to, no money 'cos he had all that and no job because there aren't any and I am unskilled and mentally and emotionally knackered.

The man I have is a fuckwit, who thinks I should never leave the kitchen, but I put my kids first (and his elderly and failing parents too because I love them and it would break their hearts), I am at the bottom of the pile, which is ok sometimes because my kids love me and my friends too.

PS Learn where to put the appostrophe!

Movin' on..............


  1. I don't know how on earth you stay as sane as you appear to be. Keep on holding your head up m'dear.

    1. Sanity is so last year darlink. My daughter calls me 'crazy lady' but I allow it because I am! Having a good sense of humour helps an awful lot too! I also give myself little peptalks as well......or is that another sign lol.


This is a place for me, to try and make sense of my world, and my place in it. My family and friends do not know about this, I need some privacy, peace and freedom.
Please don' t leave unkind comments, I have enough of that in 'real life'.