Thank you for your kind comments on my last post. I do appreciate them.
I spoke to Y today. She had phoned on Sunday to invite my daughter to her daughter's (best friend) dance show. We spoke a little and laughed a little when she picked her up.
I told her (after I had listened to her telling me of a hospital visit (on her own) and listened to grandson's words etc - he is v cute) that when I laughed on Sunday it was the first time I had laughed properly since Christmas. She said that we would go out during the Easter Hols, as well as the photography workshop in London for daughter's birthday. I then said I was still waiting for my counselling appointment and......and she went quiet.
I finished the call shortly after that.
Today I have emailed the counselling people.
Today is a neutral day. My neutral is other people's 'happy'.
Neutral is good.
It enables me to function, to manage, to be capable. Just.
I remember once upon a time that I was efficient and organised. I took care of my children, my mother, the house and worked too. That was before.
Now, if I manage a load of washing, walk the dog and peel a potato then I am superhuman.
Today I walked the dog while the sun shone. Which was nice.
PS: This is my 100th post. I missed my blogiversary of 10 March. Bum.
I note that Mother's Day last year was as bad as this. I cooked the dinner, made cups of tea for all, but did not visit MiL. The FW took daughter and eldest son as middle son was working, surprise surprise. There were no flowers or chocs in this house. I took daffs to cemetery and froze there. I got cards (including a jokey Tesco Value one hardehar) and a crochet book, amazon vouchers (love) and a tenner.
Oh dear I am very ungrateful.