Thursday, 7 February 2013

Just a quickie.....

Let's see if I can do this in 10 minutes -

The day started early with the dog having a fit on the kitchen floor, terrifying daughter who screamed for us.  We rushed to her in the sitting room (which has the stairs in it) while she told us what was happening the dog trotted in looking completely normal.   I heard the hideous knocking sound he was making on the kitchen floor, but only she saw and then described to us.  He recovered on his own.  There were no other symptoms except the falling and shaking.  He has been fine since (I sought advice).

Had stressful time trying to sort out travel for next week to Royal Brompton and Harefield hospital in Kensington for daughter's possibly last outpatients appt in the paediatric cardiac care clinic.  Will probably be the normal (grown up clinic) next time.  She is 16 (what!!) in April.  Does The FW come too, possibly not as it is a long day with travel etc.  I am scared of London but will do my best.

Had long phone chats with Best Friend, we have decided to try and spend more time with our girls this year.  I think she has realised what has happened.  The new boy/man friend relationship is good and she will still take every opportunity to see him etc but maybe has realised that there are other people in the universe.

I think she is arranging a 'street photography' mini course for the girls, which we will have to accompany them on (this is in Soho).  She is very London savvy so I can relax and we will laugh a lot and embarrass our daughters.

More financial worries ie car tax and mot.  I have to let him deal with it.  I have to.

Am trying not to be stressed about various things, house not being cleaned (by me) am very aware of my failings at this, it bothers me and yet this house is too big for me to deal with.  I have too many crochet and sewing projects on the go and end up not doing any of them and wasting another day.

Getting fed up with cooking, being burnt twice (once on face) by spitting fat.

Being very obvious that I am not coping, not being the efficient mum/housewife I used to be, it is very noticeable.  I don't like it.

The stress on the news about the Baccalaureate being abandoned for GCSEs.  This is what our girls are doing and have had to give up their treasured favourite subjects to do it.  Dance for H and Art for my girl.  No wonder they can't wait to leave school and cannot be persuaded (by the school) to stay on for Sixth Form.

I have to go out and shop again tomorrow.  Despite doing online shop (which I mistakenly put on the cleared credit card that I had balance transferred only 10 days ago bugger) we still need cat litter and fresh food for the weekend.  I don't want to go out.  It is too much effort.  And too much money.  I am trying to stay in budget despite the 'Vera Legacy'.  I must not blow it.

Is this garbled? Choppy?  I am sorry if it is, but this is how my brain is working.

I never ask about you do I?  How are you, you look well, I like your top, is it new?

So tired............

g'night all.

PS We are keeping a good eye on Alfie, he seems as perky as ever.  Bless his smelly little bod.


  1. I'm happy when I see a blogpost from you - no matter how short - as I feel I can reach out to you in just a little way xx BTW my top right now is the top of my nightie, and the cardigan over the top came from the charity shop yonks ago LOL!

  2. So glad things are improving with BF and fingers crossed all is well at the hospital appt. I find London stressful too, but you'll be fine - you are a strong and resourceful woman.
    My house is a pigsty - I do not exaggerate, yours will be a palace compared to mine. As soon as I clean something up my BoJ messes it up again, and I mean IMMEDIATELY. Can this be just coincidence? So in the pursuit of peace of mind I just gave up. I could not stand the stress of watching him sabotage my efforts.
    Sorry about your daughter and the eBacc. My daughter is a teacher and hates Govealicious with a passion that's volcanic. Every time he opens his mouth he demonstrates that he has no idea what it's like out here in the real world. If his advisors are briefing him just to make him look like an idiot they are being very successful. He has no knowledge of the world outside his priveleged little circle. My daughter teaches in an inner London school where many children don't have enough to eat, where English is not the first language for many and some come to school speaking no English at all, where just maintaining discipline in the classroom can take up a full lesson, where she has been attacked even when she was heavily pregnant, had furniture thrown at her, where weapons have been found on a random bag search (I'm talking a gun and knives), knives were found buried in the sand of the long-jump pit - and much, much more. How does his philosopy on education fit this?
    And as for me - I'm fine well, thanks for asking. BoJ dumped a nuclear tantrum on me last night. He must have been stressed. Out of the blue, for no obvious reason, roared and ranted, went to bed, slept and he's fine this morning. I finally fell asleep about 5:30, woke in a blue fug, but over-the-back are chopping down the trees that block the light from half of the garden - you know, those unattratctive, fast-growing evergeen jobbies - and it's wonderful. There is so much light, the garden looks bigger. I'm taking this as a sign that things will get better. From
    :-( to :-) in minutes.
    Thank you for listening - it helps. xx

    1. I'm always listening, it's what I do.
      Part One of tonight's post is dedicated to you. Incidentally, all government ministers are tossers and the people at the shitty end ie your daughter deserve medals - and cake. On me.

  3. Thanks - it's only an old fleecy one, but you know what it's like, you have a favourite top and you wear it to death!
    Glad Alfie seems to have got over his fit.
    I've got a friend with a daughter who is in the same predicament as yours with the chopping and changing with the eBacc. Fortunately for us, our boys school refused to do it and kept with the original GCSEs.
    Take one day at a time - breathe and do what you need to do and keep strong xx


This is a place for me, to try and make sense of my world, and my place in it. My family and friends do not know about this, I need some privacy, peace and freedom.
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