- 2 new peeps (haaaaallo my darlings, you are very welcome here
- one larder cupboard wiped and tidied to make room for the supermarket delivery of heavies (on the credit card but whateverrrrr)
- freezer sticky shelf wiped (it's only been a month since the spillage)
- ironing tackled
- did not leave house so therefore did not shower (dirty cow)
- It was nice the see the snow knowing I wasn't leaving house yaay.
- feeling 'lighter' in my head
- the cat peed in the utility area (right by the cat flap!!!) she has Never done this before, new worry to add to list, sigh. Did the snow scare her?
- Took 5 hours, on and off, to make 2 loaves of bread, one good, one fail. I need to stop this.
- Disastrous attempt at chinese dinner (The FW got involved too grrr)
- Son came home from friends house disappointed at being ignored, they had another couple there and had a takeaway meal and did not include him and barely spoke to him. He also finds it difficult that they always have the new computer gadget/game but there is no food in house for their children. I said it may be that that friendship has run its course.
- Tried to do some urgent crochet, just ended up trying to untangle a yarn monster all evening bah!
Had phone conversation with BF, the chat was mainly about and included her lovely little grandson (what a character and only one yr old) and her health. Only partly interested in talk about Fil and the broken ribs. Wasn't a total write off but, meh.
I need to add that I am truly grateful for the positive comments and virtual hugs. I don't want to sound crawly but y'know, like, really 'ppreciate it.
I also need to add that what I have written so far as not all of it, the bad stuff, there is more but I don't want to bore anyone. Some of it can't really be shared, the back lash could be huge. Nevertheless it has had a major effect on me, my self-esteem and made me question my motives and feelings for an individual.
This year has been huge, turning 50 and how I feel about that, friendships, children being adults, the end of school approaching, and the scarily depressive feelings I am experiencing. I scared myself pretty badly a few days ago with very, very negative thoughts. I have never, ever felt that bad before, never contemplated anything like that. My children have always kept me going on. There, I am shaking a bit with expressing those words. Please do not worry, I do not feel this way now. I will keep on keepin' on as the saying goes. At some point it has to get better, right?
On that slightly down note I will sleep now and tomorrow will be different.
Bless you and good night