Saturday, 8 September 2012


I only have one follower now, maybe the funny (or seen as sarcastic?) comment about a giveaway did that. I never started this to have followers and was surprised and pleased to get them when I did. so, someone has left...oh well same old, same old.

So, again, i will forget all that and carry on with this for me, to clear my head and try to get back into my life again. I have lost my domestic mojo, the place is a disorganised and grubby tip. I want to crochet, sew and get ready for christmas as we are thoroughly, completely and utterly broke, but i feel wrong to sit and crochet when the house is so untidy and the ironing is piling up.  I read the frugal blogs and envy those that have the financial control to organise their finances. I am unable to because I am not in 'control' in this household. The FW is and cannot remember (or doesn't want to), bills/insurances and stuff like that. The electric and gas bills are in my name because i am the one who signed on the dotted line when we changed providers some years ago, fool, fool, fool. my name is also on the water bill/council tax and mortgages (we have two, grrrrrrrr against my better judgement but he wouldn't listen to me, one is a mortgage loan to pay a £60,000 - yep sixty thousand pounds - tax bill). we are underpaying the interest on one mortgage (jeez) because he does not keep up with it and has closed his account with that bank.  The banks he has had problems over the years are - nat west, girobank/alliance &leicester/hsbc/and now santander. he thinks he can close the current one and down and just go and open another. he thinks I am a financial idiot but it is him really.

Went to see GP this morning - she is nice and listened and let me cry for 20 mins, I have mild/moderate depression and she is going to find me a counsellor suitable for me, I hope so, no pills which is good because I hate them. I had carbimazole for years for overactive thyroid (now in remission) and am now on perindopril for high blood pressure - no surprise there!!

My best friend came home from holiday a few days ago but not sure when, she has not phoned and I think she expects me to phone her, how when I don't know when she is back.  it is a one way street, and may be a dead end now, sad.

Lovely MiL is very bad now, 11 weeks from diagnosis to extreme bad behaviour (she has vascular dementia not helped by being in hospital all this time.  family meeting tomorrow for hubby, older sister and younger brother tho younger brother's wife has MS and has worsened recently, we don't have much contact . I am not invited tho expect older sister's husband will of course be there.

Bit of a rambly post, I am tired and low today even though I have undercoated the fugly charity shop roll top desk for in the kitchen as a desk. (I am now looking at an old fashioned dressing table for use in the bedroom as a sewing machine table).

Night night
Susan x


  1. Well, I am still following.

    I hope that counselling will help you, I agree that medication is not always the best way forward.

  2. Sorry for delay in replying, but thanks for still being here, I appreciate it.


This is a place for me, to try and make sense of my world, and my place in it. My family and friends do not know about this, I need some privacy, peace and freedom.
Please don' t leave unkind comments, I have enough of that in 'real life'.