Thank you to everyone for my comments, I really appreciate them.
I am feeling better today, what started as 'the pit' Monday afternoon, it gradually lifted to 'ok' Thursday and 'quite good' today. I wonder if it is still connected to hormones. I am post menopausal (5 years in - gah!). I had pnd after 2nd child which became so bad the doc put me on depo-provera injections for 2 1/2 years which helped incredibly but affected my fertility in the short term - it took my periods another 18mths to come back, and made the wait for my daughter longer (8 years in total). I usually found that if I didn't suffer physically with water retention (sore boobs) it went to my head (yep - water on the brain - doc actually said that!!) and caused depression/irritability etc. The fact that the depression comes on unexpectedly/quickly and only lasts at its peak 36/48 hours makes me think it could still be hormones, I may go see gp, although I have never officially mentioned the 'D' word in the surgery, I think the time has come.
I have quite a lot to learn, compared to all the loverly blogs I read, how to make a reading list, then maybe pics etc. On my list of things to 'learn' this year is a) how to download music and put it on a cd/getting to grips with photos on the computer (I have linux thanks to computer whiz son) so have to learn how the desktop works/how to make a 'nice' blog. I am not a technophobe but the 'menopausal brain' is not helping!! (I also really need to tidy cupboards/drawers/storage and get rid of stuff - if we need to leave this house due to FW's crappy financial (mis)management then I need to seriously declutter!!)
There is so much to tell about my life that I am not sure how to do it - chronological/ancedotal/ random. There seems to be so much to tell, I don't want to bore you - or myself - but I do need to get stuff out of my head (oooops interrupted by FW, I'll just pop on to a random blog page)... so that I can sleep better and de-clutter my head too!.
Re - FW brief description: 50something/overweight/10 years on meds for blood pressure/cholesterol etc/self-employed/self-obsessed/self-absorbed/self-important/ selfish/hypocritical/serial flirt/serial adulterer/serial pub visitor/narcissist.....I could go on but I've run out of words!
I'll leave you now, this is getting a bit long, if I can find a photo I'll try to add it.
PS. well there's the photo... (tho not at all where I thought it would turn up)....... of mollie sneakily crept in in my bed, comfy much?