Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Still fightin' it.............oh and Happy New Year to All

  1. FW fixing boiler with a slight mood on 'cos his local (ahem in the next village 4 miles up the road) is closing down* and he is staying in for New Years!!!
  2. The realisation that 'other' contact is still going on.  Will keep you posted.
  3. Titting about instead of tidying up.
  4. Am determined to de-clutter etc in prep - for what...who knows!
  5. Tons more stick picking after the last couple of stormy days, the field is gloopy so am in danger of losing my wellies with every step. 
nearly finished (on xmas eve) present for daughter's friend

lush xmas cake made by son's friend-who-is-a-girl

I couldn't quite manage to clear this particular stick

At the moment I am in bed with the tv on (Dara O'Brian and then maybe Gary Barlow) trying to stay awake, or indeed sleep, until 2014 begins.  Just as he came in from the cabin in the garden I announced I was going to bed.  I really really couldn't keep my eyes open.  So he is down there sulking.  Who cares?

The boys are out with their friends - good, they have a bit of a life.

Friends, I am hoping next year is better.


* The Russians are taking over the next village buying up the land/pub etc.  The Russian Olympic Horses were kept in the posh livery there.


  1. Happy New Year to you. I'm always doing no3 instead of doing house work, much more fun but I need to swap it round this new year. See what you mean about the stick. Best left where it is if it doesn't bother the horses. I like the crochet owls. I fell asleep waiting for midnight but woke up in time to wish my dear ones a happy new year.

    1. Thanks lovie. Shall we have a better 2014? yeah, why not. (Sssh don't wake the Sh*t Fairy!!)

  2. Wishing you a really good 2014 Susan xox

  3. Happy New Year. Hopefully 2014 will bring good things for you and for me too.
    The end of 2013 was really the best I've ever felt, so hopefully I can move forward into a better new life. Only taken me 60 years!!!
    I wish lots of good times for you :-)

    1. The FW will be 60 in a few to celebrate?....or even care?
      Does that make me a bad person, or one who finally woke up?
      Glad things are better for you. New life, how does one get one? Am curious.

    2. No, it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you normal.

      I had despaired of ever being free of the angst, the pain, the being deeply mired in the shit, of not being 'normal'.

      My counsellor was part of the key for me - third time lucky! But only because I was ready to change. I AM different - mostly the changes are
      * I now have boundaries. I didn't really know that I lacked them before, and it's had to explain what I mean in a short comment, but you probably know.
      * I now have self-esteem and self-worth
      * I don't beat myself up all the time for my failings and for not 'being normal' What I am is normal for me, and some of what I thought was my strangeness was my coping mechanism for the situation that I was in, and it saved me from self-destructing.
      * I don't assume that other people's bad behaviour is my fault, that I caused it by somehow being provocative. This is one of the biggest helps for me. If BOJ is being an absolute arse, it's not my fault, it's his choice. He isn't an arse to me in front of other people, he isn't an arse to other people, so I don't cause it. SIMPLES!
      We all can behave less than well at home when we are stressed, and be unkind to those we love, but we regret it later and apologise, we don't blame the person we shouted at. That is the difference.
      Also a big help were a couple of books - helped me to see things as they really are - I'll post links to them soon. I really recommend that you read them.

    3. In order of usefulness the books are:
      (hope they can help)

    4. Thank you, I will check them out. Stuff is happening here, I am being more "communicative" and eventually he will find that he would prefer I wasn't. I will try to write about it soon.


This is a place for me, to try and make sense of my world, and my place in it. My family and friends do not know about this, I need some privacy, peace and freedom.
Please don' t leave unkind comments, I have enough of that in 'real life'.