The thing is..............

I have had a slight dip today.

Since I saw you last:

I have decided the method of decoupaging the cubby looks messy and will possibly either re-patch over all in one colour per 'cub' or try and soak off and start again.  Hey it's not like there's only 3 weeks or so to chrimble and I have done nothing!!

FiL has had a fall in the home and has broken his ribs.

SiL had the vomiting lurgy Thursday/Friday and retched so much she blacked out and smashed her face on the loo, stitches and everything.   The following day the care home phoned about FiL, and even though he would not take any pain relief he was in so much pain they took him to the A&E Sat night and SiL had to go and deal with it, she phoned us at 2am to let us know, hence the broken rib diagnosis.  The FW has done fuck all about any of this.

Son's work phoned at 7.24 AM on Sat to see if he would be able to go in  and cover a sick day, luckily he was at girlfriend's house and couldn't (and wouldn't) get there.  I knew that sort of thing would happen because he lives just 12mins walk from the place.  (They said later to him when his proper shift started that I sounded really lovely, bless).

I have spent a lot of time in the kitchen, and then later falling asleep whilst trying to finish daughter's blanket.

Had an allergy attack (how the hell?) when I breathed in and nearly choked on the very strong cheap toothpaste, had to take strong anti-histamine which was probably why I was falling asleep.

The FW said how about we get (his) mum's dining table and chairs in time for Christmas.  Hmmm, it seems I don't appear to have any choice but I don't really want them as they are too posh for our kitchen and everyday use, our previous dining table set in our old house was his choice and too fancy schmancy for small children, drove me crackers.  So I will cover the table with a fairly posh oilcloth whether he likes it or not, and to hell with the chairs (we have a cat, say no more).  Apparently we are going to put the existing table in the attic (where the hell he is going to find the room I don't bloody know as he has filled it with all the crap from his auction house hobby from earlier this year).

I feel that time is scarily rushing past and yet I am in no hurry.  I know that in about a week I will go into a total panic, rush around and recklessly spend money in a vague attempt to 'create' a Christmas.  I used to be 'stepford wife' organised, cards written and ready to post on the 1st, presents thought about in September and ordered and paid for in October, the house organised in November and super cleaned in December.  Now I don't give a crap, but I know I will feel guilty that the house is a complete mess and that the presents will be opened in about 10 minutes flat (like last year!).

I will say that my kids are not grabby and barely ask for anything unless pressed.  I have always made a huge effort for them because of this, (sensibly, until the FW decides he is going to add his contribution of piles of useless crap that they have no need of or use for and that end up in the charity shop).

And there has been other annoying and upsetting trivial stuff happening, it is almost as if there is a determination to drag me down again after my brief (oh, so very brief semi-happy interlude).  Just keep swimmin, just keep swimmin*

I hope that I will wake up tomorrow (today) and feel as if I can be organised, I have 2 birthdays in the next couple of day so I must send cards.  If I can make at least one list or one gift and write the 'definitely sending' Xmas cards (the rest I will only send when I receive, just to see what happens) then I can beat this Christmas Block.  I had decided to crochet gifts, but the time for that is disappearing, it is all over the coffee table etc and I keep walking past and saying that I will do it later! 

night night
x

Hello and thank you to my readers and commenters, thank you for making me visible.

*From the film 'Finding Nemo'