I feel like 'me' again, the person I used to be...you know....Before.
I hope that was the end of it and dread that it will happen again.
Nothing has changed in my life, I mean, No Thing. It is all the same.......except that it is different.
The financial shite is still there, I still dislike The FW, I am still disappointed in the Best Friend, I still would like to move to another house, preferably with one less in the family (snigger).
Yet, it is all bearable, doable, manageable, okayable. (sorry about the last one).
I feel quite light, clear and if you will, a bit cheerful. And wearing Clothes too, look at me all dressed and everything.
I have enjoyed the sun, made the bedroom a nice place to be, sorted yarn which is a marvellous job, enjoyed a barbecue in the garden with the kids that The FW prepared and cooked. I have talked with The FW about his family (grrrr) and he told me is worried about the Cardiologist appointment. I will go with him unless he says otherwise. Because I feel able to.
I had to 'fess up about The Depression to him because on Thurs when I went out early the post came and there was The Letter with 'Private and Confidential' on it and the sender label with the hospital name on. Great, just great. I fudged a bit about how what and when, but gave him just enough info to get by. He said he didn't know. (How the Fuck could anyone not notice, I mean Really!)
I have been expecting to go offline any day (poss tomorrow) 'cos he still can't pay the media bill (boring).
I want to thank you Lovely Peeps for "being there" (cliche cliche) but you have, you really have and I bless you for it. Thank You.
The Sun 'as got 'is 'at on, 'ip 'ip 'ooray, the Sun 'as got 'is 'at on and I'm comin' out to plaaaaay.
I saw a quote somewhere, it said -
"I'm not happy, I'm just fed up being miserable"
I like it.
We have had lovely weather this bank holiday and I think that make all the difference to our feelings. Glad you are feeling different.
ReplyDeleteSound like your session went well.
Men who are wrapped up in themselves never notice what is going on around them and the feelings of others.
Carolx
That is the horrible thing about being depressed. You show a different side to people and often they don't even know how bad you feel. I have been there and know what it's like. At the time you just can't see clearly at all and afterwards when you feel clearer you just can't imagine ever being like it again can you?
ReplyDeleteI think you're doing the right thing to write about it, it does help.
Hope you continue to feel great
Briony
x
Hello Susan! How wonderful to meet you - so glad you are here :) keep it up xx
ReplyDelete