because i couldn't be arsed.
Instead I
: actually vacuumed some floors - go me!
: cleaned the downstairs loo - whoop whoop!
: worked on the Blanket of Doom - the best light is in the kitchen in the morning
: did a wool wash - steady on girl
: made a great loaf - that will be gone in an instant
: made some so-so rolls for the burger dinner (first and last time) - ever
: danced a lot in the kitchen - nobody saw
: two letters from school - prizegiving/tracking sheet As and Bs - gorgeous girl
: had cup of tea and chat with girlfriend of son - sweet but 'teachery'
: caught up with some Tivo crap - (watch 1 hour and record 3 hours each night!)
: worked on gorgeous girls blanket (lucy inspired) and watched Strictly- woohoo
: muttered occasionally to myself about The FW's family - grrrrrrr.
Yesterday the lovely middle son accompanied me to the hated asda, we did well and talked and laughed our way round.
Then had a phone call lasting nearly two hours with BF (oh shit, the phone bill!!) about her back procedure and my crap. Bless her, she says she is always around when I need her (er no actually, mostly off the the midlands with new boyfriend), and that I can always talk to her (er again no actually, usually during a 59 minute phone call the first 53 mins is all about her stuff, then I get 6 mins and then the kitchen timer goes and bye bye!)*
I sound like a meanie but as usual I give more than I get, sorry I'm whining again.
Hoping for a decent weekend - Blanket of Doom, baking cakes for Saturday (we have 'normous breakfast, I make cakes and then leave the kitchen - tivo time), hopefully bath the stinky dog including trimming his gob and his giblet area, Sunday lunch, leave kitchen, tivo time again (during tivo time I crochet or do the mending)
{sshh whisper I am going to try and tidy the house next week, don't say it out loud as some bollix will put the kibosh on that}
always your true and most affectionate friend,
Susan x
PS Showering will be resumed tomorrow.
* sometimes The FW listens in on the other phone..bastard
Friday, 5 October 2012
Thursday, 4 October 2012
I think it's only wednesday but
it has been a hellish day in a hellish week.
today I have cried myself into exhaustion and dehydration.
Hub and his sis are at war re mum
bro in law is beside himself with rage - protecting his wife I grant you but he is unaware that what his wife is doing is not in mum's best interests, financially or practically.
when we met in ward this pm we were hustled by SiL into next room hub was immediately angry at her first words and i tried to speak to allow him to calm down and was told 'no I want to speak to my brother'
I left the room and motioned bro in law to stay in corridor which to his credit he did but within earshot
I tried to explain hubs issue and but this was immediately negated by BiL who said they have had to deal with this for four years which is true but SiL always had the best of mum to to the detriment of her other siblings. (I had a lot of love and support from mum because my own mother was elderly and ill when I had my babies and died just after my daughters 1st birthday, I lost my father when my boys were tiny)
I have known and liked BiL as an essentially likeable and harmless bloke for 30 years, but today the waves of rage and negativity were palpable and scared me
we stood a few feet apart and I tried again to say some facts on the situation, this was again blocked/denied yet I know these facts to be true - in these instances you cannot get through to people when the drawbridges are pulled up.
I broke down and wept in a public corridor, deep sobs that I could not control.
The person standing beside me did not acknowledge, approach, offer the simplest comfort/word or even a tissue
I said between sobs that he was allowed to support his wife but I was not allowed to support my husband. Their younger brother has distanced himself but his wife has the severest form of MS and he has recently had to give up work to care for her (she is younger than me)
I managed to control myself eventually when hub and SiL came out of room - there were words of upset and discord between them but I did not hear what they were. SiL came to me and when I said I could not bear it her reply was 'welcome to my world I've had this for a year' and left me there. We did not know how bad it had got. The line between privacy and secrecy is non-existent.
Hub and I had a meeting with the ward manager and we were told that mum had asked that the family were not told that she had MRSA, at first this seemed feasible but now I begin to doubt. She was transferred to this ward within 2 hours of our visiting yesterday and looking at her notes
Hub has said he regrets not dealing with this sooner, to his sis and the nurse, maybe things would have been dealt with better, I know this to be true.
After meeting we decided to leave the ward until SiL and Bil had left, we went and had tea and I cried and poured out my heart whilst feeling guilty that this is not My mum and yet I am in pieces, I spoke about feeling like a piece of dirt to be ignored when in great distress, something I could not do to another however I felt about them. I know his family dislike or even hate me because the way I came into the family but this has been 30 years now, we have children who were themselves not included in family stuff and barely know their cousins. After our tea the lady in the coffee bar who hub knows because he used to do much work at that hospital hugged me.. a stranger, and yet family couldn't care less.
At a recent meeting re mum at SiL's house her hub was there, and her two brothers were invited (I was not and other SiL obviously not able to be there) though it seemed that decisions had already been made and all she wanted was their agreement. I have written about this in previous posts.
I did say to hub that if S were alive this would not be happening (S died 3 years ago from breast cancer, she hated me the most and I was not allowed to attend funeral) S was the second eldest, the most practical, no-nonsense and got almost no help at all from her mother which hurt her but she got on with her life).
I feel that SiL believes she is the first and only person on the planet who has had to deal with elderly parents, and yet will not accept any help or advice or indeed goes out of her way to do the opposite. In the beginning I had mentioned that I had to deal with two elderly parents needing care when I had two small babies, couldn't drive and I had no help at all (did not say at the time but will if given the chance again that I had an unsupportive and very demanding husband to deal with as well), whereas her husband is retired and does a lot for her and her eldest daughter is quite forthright and practical too and gives a lot of support to her.
in my opinion she has had a soft life, with the most help for the least reasons 'I have a headache can you do my ironing' etc. her boasting re grandchildren is endless but three months ago I was allowed 10 minutes to boast about my son doing his PHD, then my time was up whilst she brought up some obscure 2nd cousin who was a 'real' doctor. It rankles her that my son is the first and only grandchild in the family to go to university.
Perhaps I am being harsh to her in this distressing time but the endless discrimination to myself and my children, the rejection/ignorance/downright rudeness has taken a massive toll on our family. I have no older female relatives to turn to, even my SiL in my family has left us and is joining another family.
I often have to be strong for my niece/nephew, my childless brother whose eventual elderly care will fall on my children in years to come. My eldest brother behaves like an only child (he has stepdaughters and sends us a 'round robin' letter to let us know about births/marriages etc) so I feel I cannot turn to him for support and anyway he is not a girl.
I want/need to be held and patted and rocked and my tears dried and this may never happen. Hub did comfort me briefly and listened thoroughly to my feelings and is conscious of my fragility at the moment (tho I have not told him about recent visit to GP to seek help with depression), but he is angry with his sis who has now contacted younger brother to get him on side.
I have said walk away and leave it, visit mum and dad in their care homes (mum will get into home soon tho we know she will hate her room within days of being there), let the shit hit the fan it is none of our doing and we do not have to deal with the fall out, and trust me there will be fall out.
Tho I will 'put this behind me and be polite in the future' I fear the repercussions will run deep and long, you are never ever forgiven if you step out of line.
Thank God for my friends. even the ones i have neglected this horrible horrible year. (I have a 'friends' post in my draft list, I will look it out).
Another long and self indulgent post, apologies but I need to 'write it out'. my tears have dried and I may wake tomorrow angry and woe betide anyone of hubs family who try to take me on, because believe me they will lose. I may only be 4' 10" but I am fierce when you hit the right nerve.
Love ya
Susan
PS I dread tomorrow and not just because I need to do asda shop!
Man, the right anti-histamine can knock you right out, I may not wake when kid leaves for school.
N'night all
x
today I have cried myself into exhaustion and dehydration.
Hub and his sis are at war re mum
bro in law is beside himself with rage - protecting his wife I grant you but he is unaware that what his wife is doing is not in mum's best interests, financially or practically.
when we met in ward this pm we were hustled by SiL into next room hub was immediately angry at her first words and i tried to speak to allow him to calm down and was told 'no I want to speak to my brother'
I left the room and motioned bro in law to stay in corridor which to his credit he did but within earshot
I tried to explain hubs issue and but this was immediately negated by BiL who said they have had to deal with this for four years which is true but SiL always had the best of mum to to the detriment of her other siblings. (I had a lot of love and support from mum because my own mother was elderly and ill when I had my babies and died just after my daughters 1st birthday, I lost my father when my boys were tiny)
I have known and liked BiL as an essentially likeable and harmless bloke for 30 years, but today the waves of rage and negativity were palpable and scared me
we stood a few feet apart and I tried again to say some facts on the situation, this was again blocked/denied yet I know these facts to be true - in these instances you cannot get through to people when the drawbridges are pulled up.
I broke down and wept in a public corridor, deep sobs that I could not control.
The person standing beside me did not acknowledge, approach, offer the simplest comfort/word or even a tissue
I said between sobs that he was allowed to support his wife but I was not allowed to support my husband. Their younger brother has distanced himself but his wife has the severest form of MS and he has recently had to give up work to care for her (she is younger than me)
I managed to control myself eventually when hub and SiL came out of room - there were words of upset and discord between them but I did not hear what they were. SiL came to me and when I said I could not bear it her reply was 'welcome to my world I've had this for a year' and left me there. We did not know how bad it had got. The line between privacy and secrecy is non-existent.
Hub and I had a meeting with the ward manager and we were told that mum had asked that the family were not told that she had MRSA, at first this seemed feasible but now I begin to doubt. She was transferred to this ward within 2 hours of our visiting yesterday and looking at her notes
Hub has said he regrets not dealing with this sooner, to his sis and the nurse, maybe things would have been dealt with better, I know this to be true.
After meeting we decided to leave the ward until SiL and Bil had left, we went and had tea and I cried and poured out my heart whilst feeling guilty that this is not My mum and yet I am in pieces, I spoke about feeling like a piece of dirt to be ignored when in great distress, something I could not do to another however I felt about them. I know his family dislike or even hate me because the way I came into the family but this has been 30 years now, we have children who were themselves not included in family stuff and barely know their cousins. After our tea the lady in the coffee bar who hub knows because he used to do much work at that hospital hugged me.. a stranger, and yet family couldn't care less.
At a recent meeting re mum at SiL's house her hub was there, and her two brothers were invited (I was not and other SiL obviously not able to be there) though it seemed that decisions had already been made and all she wanted was their agreement. I have written about this in previous posts.
I did say to hub that if S were alive this would not be happening (S died 3 years ago from breast cancer, she hated me the most and I was not allowed to attend funeral) S was the second eldest, the most practical, no-nonsense and got almost no help at all from her mother which hurt her but she got on with her life).
I feel that SiL believes she is the first and only person on the planet who has had to deal with elderly parents, and yet will not accept any help or advice or indeed goes out of her way to do the opposite. In the beginning I had mentioned that I had to deal with two elderly parents needing care when I had two small babies, couldn't drive and I had no help at all (did not say at the time but will if given the chance again that I had an unsupportive and very demanding husband to deal with as well), whereas her husband is retired and does a lot for her and her eldest daughter is quite forthright and practical too and gives a lot of support to her.
in my opinion she has had a soft life, with the most help for the least reasons 'I have a headache can you do my ironing' etc. her boasting re grandchildren is endless but three months ago I was allowed 10 minutes to boast about my son doing his PHD, then my time was up whilst she brought up some obscure 2nd cousin who was a 'real' doctor. It rankles her that my son is the first and only grandchild in the family to go to university.
Perhaps I am being harsh to her in this distressing time but the endless discrimination to myself and my children, the rejection/ignorance/downright rudeness has taken a massive toll on our family. I have no older female relatives to turn to, even my SiL in my family has left us and is joining another family.
I often have to be strong for my niece/nephew, my childless brother whose eventual elderly care will fall on my children in years to come. My eldest brother behaves like an only child (he has stepdaughters and sends us a 'round robin' letter to let us know about births/marriages etc) so I feel I cannot turn to him for support and anyway he is not a girl.
I want/need to be held and patted and rocked and my tears dried and this may never happen. Hub did comfort me briefly and listened thoroughly to my feelings and is conscious of my fragility at the moment (tho I have not told him about recent visit to GP to seek help with depression), but he is angry with his sis who has now contacted younger brother to get him on side.
I have said walk away and leave it, visit mum and dad in their care homes (mum will get into home soon tho we know she will hate her room within days of being there), let the shit hit the fan it is none of our doing and we do not have to deal with the fall out, and trust me there will be fall out.
Tho I will 'put this behind me and be polite in the future' I fear the repercussions will run deep and long, you are never ever forgiven if you step out of line.
Thank God for my friends. even the ones i have neglected this horrible horrible year. (I have a 'friends' post in my draft list, I will look it out).
Another long and self indulgent post, apologies but I need to 'write it out'. my tears have dried and I may wake tomorrow angry and woe betide anyone of hubs family who try to take me on, because believe me they will lose. I may only be 4' 10" but I am fierce when you hit the right nerve.
Love ya
Susan
PS I dread tomorrow and not just because I need to do asda shop!
Man, the right anti-histamine can knock you right out, I may not wake when kid leaves for school.
N'night all
x
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
Picture if you will....
though better not to if you're eating breakfast or still queasy from last night's iffy kebab....
.......whilst muttering to
myself (signs of stress/frustration with the FW) Maroon 5 'one more
night' bursts to life on the radio (rush to to turn the sound RIGHT up).....still picturing - here goes
- slightly overweight menopausal hobbit woman (marginally less hairy) wearing tired dressing
gown and childrens slippers (yeah whatever, size 2 feet), dancing like
a video ho whilst loading mens undies (gak) into the washing machine.
Chuckle
x
Disclaimer - When children in kitchen I dance
like a 1970s Nolan Sister and they sigh, roll their eyes as they
leave the room. When The FW is in the room I do not dance at all. (except maybe in my head..and poke my tongue out at him...and give him the V sign* snigger)
* I originally wrote stick my fingers up snigger .....then edited.....quickly
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Well, Guess What....
About a couple of hours after our hospital visit to MiL it was announced she was being moved to a 'special' ward (I won't name it as that would identify hospital) and that ward said, and I quote, "oh we'll get that sorted out in a week"!!!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK. grrrrrrrrrrr.
Hub spoke to SiL today who told us that she went to hosp at 9pm that night and told that ward everything that we had done/ the complaint and everything. I told him that would not prevent us going to PALS, but it is possible that the paperwork we tried to get yesterday ie the original admissions paperwork from her first brief stay there (and when the accident happened) could now be more difficult to get (I am not paranoid, just realistic). Mum was transferred to another hospital for 'rehabilitation' but could not do it as she felt so ill, we did not realise this and gave her pep talks to try harder etc. Then when her heart rate soared and temperature went through the roof they transferred her back to original hospital, it was downhill from there.
We went to PALS office yesterday and had to leave message on the answerphone thingy and whilst doing that couldn't remember mums birthdate, as some bloke came out and spoke to us whilst I was doing that, so I lost my thread and went to try again, hub decided to leave it and phone tomorrow (today) - as we walked away I said "so close, so close to actually dealing with it" grrrr. Eventually he has not phoned today and we are going in tomorrow tho we may not get a meeting straight away. That will piss him off but he will not listen to me regarding procedures etc.
Aaannyhooo, today SiL has said "oh don't do anything without telling me as we don't want to upset anyone".....what the fuckin fuck. (In spite of the fact that when trying to get mum in care home she would ignore hub's suggestions, turn up earlier than him at the homes and basically have the meeting before he got there and sometimes hedged/lied about mum's condition. They ain't daft these care home Manager's. Anyway it was the latest one that went to see mum and found the MRSA page on her notes and let us know!
Hub worked damn hard writing up the notes for our case and she wants to ignore it and brush it under the carpet. Well, No Actually, we are going to do this, I don't care if it upsets her (she hates me anyway) she lives in fluffy wuffy fairyland, doesn't believe swearing is necessary at all in real life and no-one should raise their voice. ever. Well bollocks to that, real life is shit, get on with it.
I am common, but that doesn't mean I can't manage a good, productive meeting, getting my point across politely but firmly (asking for 'help' along the way from whoever the meeting is with).
Mum went into hospital with two smallish wounds from falling over and investigation was needed to discover why (this was done within about 72 hours) by this time the accident had happened. Within 10 weeks from diagnosis her vascular dementia is advanced and not helped by the severe infection (now known to be MRSA) that could have been "sorted out" WEEKS ago. SiL asked if she had MRSA three times and was told 'No'.
Anyway, about me now - had blood test, not too bad with 20mg of diazepam and 2 armloads of emla cream. The lady at the cottage hospital is so good I wish I could take her back in time to do all my painful/bruising/stressful ones from the past. Walked miles 'cos obviously can't drive under the influence so bit tired but at least had exercise, tho went thru high street/charity shops.....ooops, etc on way to dentist; thought I would make the most of the diazepam lol.
Lord alone knows what the results will be, cholesterol/thyroid/diabetes etc. Too many crisps, not enough porridge is my problem. I had an oveeractive thyroid a few years ago and went down to under 8 stone and size 10- I thought I looked gawjus darling, but the doc said no dear, you are ill - 'bugger' sez I. You should see my passport picture I look absofuckinlutely terrible).
If the nurse suggests I go to gym etc with my lesser half (as he has been recommended/referred to do, I swear I will tie a kettlebell to his dick and throw him in the pool. I used to go three years ago and Loved It, pilates/aquatherapy/floating with style (can't swim)/gym etc) and had to stop when he was home and kept asking where I was going/when going to be back etc, then the money ran out and that was it. So - results awaited with trepidation/anguish. (Oh yeah The FW is losing weight - bastard!).
N'night all (PALS office in morning, hey ho)
PS Readers will note did not use the epithet (ooh get me) 'The FW' when relating the MiL story, I might dislike/hate him (depending the day/occasion) but am not that cruel.
PPS Am actually getting tiny bit used to him being at home, ie am not shocked when I walk into kitchen and he is sitting there, larf. We even laugh at stuff sometimes, that doesn't mean we will ever share a bed or even a room again. I am just coming to terms with the situation.
WHAT THE FUCK. grrrrrrrrrrr.
Hub spoke to SiL today who told us that she went to hosp at 9pm that night and told that ward everything that we had done/ the complaint and everything. I told him that would not prevent us going to PALS, but it is possible that the paperwork we tried to get yesterday ie the original admissions paperwork from her first brief stay there (and when the accident happened) could now be more difficult to get (I am not paranoid, just realistic). Mum was transferred to another hospital for 'rehabilitation' but could not do it as she felt so ill, we did not realise this and gave her pep talks to try harder etc. Then when her heart rate soared and temperature went through the roof they transferred her back to original hospital, it was downhill from there.
We went to PALS office yesterday and had to leave message on the answerphone thingy and whilst doing that couldn't remember mums birthdate, as some bloke came out and spoke to us whilst I was doing that, so I lost my thread and went to try again, hub decided to leave it and phone tomorrow (today) - as we walked away I said "so close, so close to actually dealing with it" grrrr. Eventually he has not phoned today and we are going in tomorrow tho we may not get a meeting straight away. That will piss him off but he will not listen to me regarding procedures etc.
Aaannyhooo, today SiL has said "oh don't do anything without telling me as we don't want to upset anyone".....what the fuckin fuck. (In spite of the fact that when trying to get mum in care home she would ignore hub's suggestions, turn up earlier than him at the homes and basically have the meeting before he got there and sometimes hedged/lied about mum's condition. They ain't daft these care home Manager's. Anyway it was the latest one that went to see mum and found the MRSA page on her notes and let us know!
Hub worked damn hard writing up the notes for our case and she wants to ignore it and brush it under the carpet. Well, No Actually, we are going to do this, I don't care if it upsets her (she hates me anyway) she lives in fluffy wuffy fairyland, doesn't believe swearing is necessary at all in real life and no-one should raise their voice. ever. Well bollocks to that, real life is shit, get on with it.
I am common, but that doesn't mean I can't manage a good, productive meeting, getting my point across politely but firmly (asking for 'help' along the way from whoever the meeting is with).
Mum went into hospital with two smallish wounds from falling over and investigation was needed to discover why (this was done within about 72 hours) by this time the accident had happened. Within 10 weeks from diagnosis her vascular dementia is advanced and not helped by the severe infection (now known to be MRSA) that could have been "sorted out" WEEKS ago. SiL asked if she had MRSA three times and was told 'No'.
Anyway, about me now - had blood test, not too bad with 20mg of diazepam and 2 armloads of emla cream. The lady at the cottage hospital is so good I wish I could take her back in time to do all my painful/bruising/stressful ones from the past. Walked miles 'cos obviously can't drive under the influence so bit tired but at least had exercise, tho went thru high street/charity shops.....ooops, etc on way to dentist; thought I would make the most of the diazepam lol.
Lord alone knows what the results will be, cholesterol/thyroid/diabetes etc. Too many crisps, not enough porridge is my problem. I had an oveeractive thyroid a few years ago and went down to under 8 stone and size 10- I thought I looked gawjus darling, but the doc said no dear, you are ill - 'bugger' sez I. You should see my passport picture I look absofuckinlutely terrible).
If the nurse suggests I go to gym etc with my lesser half (as he has been recommended/referred to do, I swear I will tie a kettlebell to his dick and throw him in the pool. I used to go three years ago and Loved It, pilates/aquatherapy/floating with style (can't swim)/gym etc) and had to stop when he was home and kept asking where I was going/when going to be back etc, then the money ran out and that was it. So - results awaited with trepidation/anguish. (Oh yeah The FW is losing weight - bastard!).
N'night all (PALS office in morning, hey ho)
PS Readers will note did not use the epithet (ooh get me) 'The FW' when relating the MiL story, I might dislike/hate him (depending the day/occasion) but am not that cruel.
PPS Am actually getting tiny bit used to him being at home, ie am not shocked when I walk into kitchen and he is sitting there, larf. We even laugh at stuff sometimes, that doesn't mean we will ever share a bed or even a room again. I am just coming to terms with the situation.
Monday, 1 October 2012
OH EM EF GEE (aka The Worst Monday For Six Years)
So this is how it went:
X
PS hear this eve that MiL has magically been moved to super duper ward especially for severe infections...hmm is this anything to do with us asking to see her notes and then sitting in her room photographing them whilst staff just happened to be standing outside in corridor 'chatting'. The shit is going to hit the fan, big time.
- 9am Jobcentre Plus to sort out son's JSA letter re 'no money'. Disconcerting as it has been so long since I signed on (24 years) that I didn't know the place had moved! Scary place with many 'differently attired' people (ie hoodies, hoodies with aTiTood) and security guards wtf. Anyway nice lady, thanks Kate, explained how it all worked out ...and now we know, although the original letter did not explain AT ALL, and son had got in a state about it. Previous evening had to explain fiercely to The FW that we would deal with this situation My Way and not through snail mail (weeks&weeks& weeksetcblahblahblah) and I believe we did the right thing. Sorted. On walk back to car discussed managing money and that mummy is always right in financial situations. Son agreed, and meant it!
- Back home and decided to get vacuum out and tidy bedroom (that was a tip because the eaves storage had a leak and now shite all over the place (Xmas cards/stockings, spare duvets, you name it!) Before I had a chance to dust off the bags/boxes etc the phone rang - Darling Mum-in-Law has MRSA, she is in hospital and has been for 14 weeks now. Originally to find out why she was falling over which had resulted in two nasty wounds on her arms. She has been caring for Father in Law who has Alzheimers and she had become exhausted so we decided Dad had to go into respite for two weeks whilst mum had rest. Whilst being moved to ward in wheelchair on admission Porter banged her leg on a bed resulting in another bad wound. This was not dealt with at the time by sister in law, anyway long story short MiL has MRSA which had been denied three times when asked about by SiL. Mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia within 48 hours of admission. As a result of the extended time in hospital and the infection etc this has rapidly become apparent, distressingly so. Within 10 weeks the change has been huge and many upsetting things have happened to her and her behaviour/language/appearance has deteriorated massively. She was always smart, made up, nice hair and pleasant to talk to and be with. Now she is skinny, unkempt, bad and racist language, stroppy, childish, raising her nightdress to show her body etc. It is unbearable for us to see our lovely mum in this state.
- On arrival home we were starving, and were having tea and bics whilst son prepared dinner (he is a good lad) the phone rang ....best friend in hysterics because there is a fuckoff great rat in her kitchen..........fuck me says I and off we go to buy rat bait and macdonalds as she and her daughter are starving and too scared to go in kitchen. In the meantime the neighbours go round and shove round under the cabinets, there is a big hole they block up and luckily no droppings, we think this may be first visit. (My friend has fibromyalgia and severe and chronic back condition and she is having a procedure in the next county on wednesday (same hosp as MiL's fecked up her back last year!!) So hilarity proceeds as we crawl around kitchen putting down bait (method: she fills trays/I put them on floor/she pushes them under cupboards using broom, repeat) then getting the plinth back in place. Her daughter is pissing herself laughing at these two old broads on their knees, swearing and laughing hysterically, snorting and farting all the while...do you think we scared the bastard rat off p'raps! Oh she is in such pain and trying to cope with her elderly mum, teenage daughter, wanker ex husband and helping older daughter with active baby grandson is taking a toll on her too. All I can do is run the odd errand (she has no car cos some stupid old bastard crashed into her and wrote hers off and increased her back problems, he is probably back on the road none the worse for it stupid old git!) and make her laugh and take the piss out of her unmercifully - well some-one's got to do it!!
- So home again knackered, The FW to deal with SiL and arrange paperwork for complaint to PALS, me to get ready for tomorrow - fasting blood test (needing diazepam and emla cream - such fun) then straight on to dentist (might as get full use of the diazepam chuckle) for new partial denture ummm sexy. So will be walking 3 miles to cottage hospital for blood test, wander through high street smiling sweetly at all and sundry on way to dentist then wander home, lovely. Cup of tea, short nap then carry on as normal - Normal, what the fuck is that I hear you say.
X
PS hear this eve that MiL has magically been moved to super duper ward especially for severe infections...hmm is this anything to do with us asking to see her notes and then sitting in her room photographing them whilst staff just happened to be standing outside in corridor 'chatting'. The shit is going to hit the fan, big time.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
So we went to the party and.....
it was ok, only because we sat with Niece's Boyfriend's (heretofore known as NB) family who are Normal.
Laughed a lot with NB's mum who is great and has similar sense of humour as me (thank god). She knows a tiny bit of our story and knows A (niece) is struggling with the situation and who apparently talks to and treats her mum appallingly. She spends most of her time at NB's house - who ironically is just across the road from us).
There was a quiz to start (wtf) and I found I just couldn't look at Former SiL kissing new fiance. He has a large family but it is well know that he will NOT be leaving his home or elderly parents (again, wtf).
Surreally, Former SiL's tiny* family (consisting of late mum's cousin, (known as Auntie B), husband (Uncle J) and their daughter (K) were there - the surreal part was that K and I were bridesmaids at my brother's wedding and I had the urge to say to the now grown up K (we were 10 and 18 in 1980) "do you think we'll be asked to be bridesmaids again?" (sick laughter)...
Former SiL and her new fiance was glad to see us and thanked us for coming and I ended up kissing hello and goodbye to a strange man I had never spoken to before.
On the way out from party room through pub found Nephew and briefly spoke to him, he said he was ok with it all but A was not (he is also A but that would just confuse you!) The shock, the dreadful gut wrenching shock was that tho he seemed much more cheerful than the last time we spoke, his pupils were dilated and he felt 'wrong'. I have no experience of drugs at all and was just aware of his eyes, as he asked if I had spoken to his dad, I had, but not about the engagement, don't know what to say or if I should, whatever I do will be wrong.
This week have been dealing with middle son's JSA cockup and will attend a meeting with him monday am to sort out problem (really looking forward to that - not), and MiL's health and care home needs (complicated and caused by local hospital being a shitehouse).
Next week will be crap as brother will be phoning to talk about his recent (last Thurs) hospital procedure and overnight stay... jeez - and have blood test (fasting/cholesterol yikes) and dentist for new partial denture (mmmm sexy)..... what larks!
I am so fuckin exhausted and really need some Boring/Routine/Normal just to catch my breath.
We left around the party around 10 because daughter was fed up, as was The FW who prefers to stand at the bar with the goms and not sit at a table with family. Anyway we are home now and The FW is staying in cos he got cold! (everybody say aaaaahhh).
N'night. x
PS on a lighter note we couldn't leave for the party until I had won a portable vintage typewriter on ebay! There are some things you just can't word process and press print lol.
PPS would love to know when the Decree Absolute came through!?!
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Mum you broke the kitchen....
I have decided the bring the microwave (that I realised is a combination/mini oven a couple of weeks ago after 13 years of ownership durrrr) into the kitchen from the 'siberia' of the utility room cupboard. Well, now the kitchen has had to be completely re-organised to accommodate it and chaos has ensued.
Add to that the washing machine breaking, FW has tried to fix it, no go, so new one bought and in place, subsequent water leakage, bah. Our utility room is 'off' the kitchen with no door but this is ok usually.
I also now do the washing up of non-dishwasher items in there as the hot water is almost 'instant' for plumbing reasons rather than wasting loads down the drain or waste disposal to get a hot bowl of water. (I wash up in super hot water 'cos that's how I like it). The plus side is no items on the drainer looking horrid in the open plan kitchen and the down side is washing up in a dim room.
Aaaannyhoo, so the first part of the week was handwashing in the bath with the loan of BF's 30 yr old spinner (so sweet and brought back memories of mum), after three days gave up as new machine was on its way. So have piles of ironing today rather than piles of crochet I need to do, bugger.
Havewasted spent 2 afternoons making bread (and finding best method of making bread in machine for mixing/kneading/first prove then out into mini microwave oven thing for second prove and superquick baking. Some success, some fails that are now croutons. We eat a loaf a day, so I need to find a routine and FW presented me with a ton of damsons that I spent all yesterday afternoon stewing for three small crumbles as only two people in house eat such things and an now have an amount of damson/sugar syrup in freezer as well cos wasn't letting anything go to waste!!) What to do with the syrup? Answers on a postcard please (aka google!).
I desperately need to organise our massive american style fridge/freezer (bought in those heady days of house refurbishing and money earning) that has very little cubic capacity, effectively (I want to double batch cook for my lazy days). At the moment when I open the door stuff falls out, not helped by FW 'helpfully' buying stuff that doesn't bloody fit!) this leads to comedy moments like the bag of grated cheese (not fully sealed) tipping over and falling everywhere (the dog cheerfully hoovered that up, tho I still have to clean the inside).
So when my daughter can't find anything or goes automatically to one area to find it is used for another purpose cries 'muuum you broke the kitchen' - on the plus side she has learned to cut real proper bread.
In other news.....
Library books several days late so now have fine... bugger
Have spent money on ebay for essential non-essentials... bugger (ie coloured crochet hooks, mini letter charms,small knitting needles, spotty scissors, it's all for gifting/christmas really it is).
Do I really need a portable oldfashioned typewriter (My dear sister's 1960s one is now obsolete ribbonwise and FW broke the case too- shithead) Yes I do want one but keep missing the really cheap ones (I want to type labels and gift tags etc) so I probably will do a buyitnow on a nice one then feel guilty later. (I have spent nothing on me this year except yarn for gifting and to keep me sane, oh and the odd sticky bun/bag of choc peanuts when in town teehee, oh and childrens school shoes as I have weeny feet)
Now addicted to charity shops but have found nice wearable cheapity cheap clothes (ie boring old lady/style) so I can throw out baggy saggy bleachmarked, holey stuff, (and for cheap books so that i can stop going to library/not reading books cos of blogging/getting fined).
Supposed to be frugally/carefully using what little money I/we get from bloodysoddingbenefits (god i hate it hate it hate it)
PS just paid the virgin media bill on credit card as I don't want to lose broadband halfway thru blogging (and I really love Tivo). I know, I know.... but telly/crochet/blogging is all I got, yeah I know kids/health/blahblah.
Speaking of C*****mas I am considering not sending cards, shall I/shan't I?? Def won't be able to go to my annual dear schoolfriends xmas dinner which completely PISSES ME OFF cos it's practically my only night out a year shitfuckbollocks
Affectionately yours,
Susan x
PS Blimey, rambly post again - sorry if you get bored halfway thru, I don't blame you, get on my own nerves sometimes, tho I do dance in the kitchen when no-one is looking, snigger.
PPS Bloody hell I really need to get some pictures on here the cheer it up, when I get five minutes I'll figure some out. The 'five minute job list is huuuuuge by the way)
Add to that the washing machine breaking, FW has tried to fix it, no go, so new one bought and in place, subsequent water leakage, bah. Our utility room is 'off' the kitchen with no door but this is ok usually.
I also now do the washing up of non-dishwasher items in there as the hot water is almost 'instant' for plumbing reasons rather than wasting loads down the drain or waste disposal to get a hot bowl of water. (I wash up in super hot water 'cos that's how I like it). The plus side is no items on the drainer looking horrid in the open plan kitchen and the down side is washing up in a dim room.
Aaaannyhoo, so the first part of the week was handwashing in the bath with the loan of BF's 30 yr old spinner (so sweet and brought back memories of mum), after three days gave up as new machine was on its way. So have piles of ironing today rather than piles of crochet I need to do, bugger.
Have
I desperately need to organise our massive american style fridge/freezer (bought in those heady days of house refurbishing and money earning) that has very little cubic capacity, effectively (I want to double batch cook for my lazy days). At the moment when I open the door stuff falls out, not helped by FW 'helpfully' buying stuff that doesn't bloody fit!) this leads to comedy moments like the bag of grated cheese (not fully sealed) tipping over and falling everywhere (the dog cheerfully hoovered that up, tho I still have to clean the inside).
So when my daughter can't find anything or goes automatically to one area to find it is used for another purpose cries 'muuum you broke the kitchen' - on the plus side she has learned to cut real proper bread.
In other news.....
Library books several days late so now have fine... bugger
Have spent money on ebay for essential non-essentials... bugger (ie coloured crochet hooks, mini letter charms,small knitting needles, spotty scissors, it's all for gifting/christmas really it is).
Do I really need a portable oldfashioned typewriter (My dear sister's 1960s one is now obsolete ribbonwise and FW broke the case too- shithead) Yes I do want one but keep missing the really cheap ones (I want to type labels and gift tags etc) so I probably will do a buyitnow on a nice one then feel guilty later. (I have spent nothing on me this year except yarn for gifting and to keep me sane, oh and the odd sticky bun/bag of choc peanuts when in town teehee, oh and childrens school shoes as I have weeny feet)
Now addicted to charity shops but have found nice wearable cheapity cheap clothes (ie boring old lady/style) so I can throw out baggy saggy bleachmarked, holey stuff, (and for cheap books so that i can stop going to library/not reading books cos of blogging/getting fined).
Supposed to be frugally/carefully using what little money I/we get from bloodysoddingbenefits (god i hate it hate it hate it)
PS just paid the virgin media bill on credit card as I don't want to lose broadband halfway thru blogging (and I really love Tivo). I know, I know.... but telly/crochet/blogging is all I got, yeah I know kids/health/blahblah.
Speaking of C*****mas I am considering not sending cards, shall I/shan't I?? Def won't be able to go to my annual dear schoolfriends xmas dinner which completely PISSES ME OFF cos it's practically my only night out a year shitfuckbollocks
Affectionately yours,
Susan x
PS Blimey, rambly post again - sorry if you get bored halfway thru, I don't blame you, get on my own nerves sometimes, tho I do dance in the kitchen when no-one is looking, snigger.
PPS Bloody hell I really need to get some pictures on here the cheer it up, when I get five minutes I'll figure some out. The 'five minute job list is huuuuuge by the way)
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