I like elephants, I do.....

these are origami elephants, if you click you might get a better picture.

This is what my daughter made me for Mother's Day as well as a beautiful painted card.

It was a pretty good day, better than previous years.

I'm off early in morning to clean three stables on my own, let's hope Indigo hasn't peed an ocean or pooped a mountain, the other two, being older are a lot cleaner and do it in one corner usually, anyway three barrow loads of cr*p, hey ho.
x

Kidnapped......

by the Instagram bug

tho i have no clue what i am doing

what the etiquette is

what the 'emojis' mean

how it all works

and have not posted or taken a single picture*

am following pretty much the same people as on blogs

with a couple of new ones

I have two (6) followers 

yes I am as boring on IG as i am here (boohoo)

I joined as I realised the tribute to Vanessa Cabban was on there but was too late, which is a shame.

I have been really busy mucking out etc etc, here are pics to prove it

this the 'before' after I started lol

and this is the after - 4 (four!) wheelbarrow loads (note needs more!!)

and this is the 'why' - young arab prince who does not like the mud (on the right)

that sand was frrrozen btw and had to chop out tree roots (!!)

the 'sand pile' is up there in the trees on the left - no horses in this field today which was grreat as one is huuuuge

and this is looking down from the pile

I had a choice of two sides of square or diagonal run, but Indie always managed to stand in the wrong place grr and the electric fence was on and I was NOT going under it

 Seeing as i am less than 5' and have short arms n legs this was no mean feat and the ground was lumpetty bumpetty (it was like a Power Plate workout haha)
I took pics of 'upalong' and 'downalong' but they were sideways and wouldn't rotate

I still have not finished the christmas present blanket (update - now on The Edge yippee)

sidetracked by poncho (with hood - what!) for daughter

*this is due to 'people' being around making me self-conscious

 NB
Started this post a week ago and finishing whilst waiting for people to get the hell out of bed so I can start the bleddy housework yaaaargh

Hope you all had lovely Valentines

See you soon xx

Interesting Updates.......

So, middle boy gave me (for £50 smackers) his 'old' ipad thingamjig.

and i am now on instagram (Dollyclothespeg62). 

when i learn how to use the dang thing 

and add it to this stuff i'll let you know.

(if you care lol)

i also have my daughter's old laptop (huuuuuge) as well as this little ideapad

........ooo get me with a whole bunch o' stuff that i barely know how to use.

what larks, pip

x

Into 2015

I want to wish everyone a 

Happy and Peaceful New Year 

you all deserve it, and so do I.

I have written more on my other blog, just because.

Have a picture (just in case the link doesn't work, if it does, then yay)

real clouds - in my garden!

xx

Do You Mind If I Knit - Vanessa Cabban - A Tribute

Vanessa Cabban,

 you were one of my crochet inspirations, your books beautiful and your papier mache sculptures were full of joy.

I hope you are at peace.

R.I.P

x

Seasonal Message

(I'm posting today 'cos I ran out of time yesterday - sigh)

ahem, my only Xmas Tree Pic (from 2011 - I am so rubbish at this!)

Merry Christmas

and

a

Peaceful New Year

(Notice there's no fancy accoutrements, I am so basic lol)

Oh Vanessa, Rest In Peace

Vanessa Cabban, a beautiful artist has died.

I used to check her blog and website now and again to see if she was going to come back and now it's too late.

I have just deleted all the words I was going to put here, the conclusion that I reached on reading the local news item local-woman-killed-by-train-at-goswick but I will keep my opinions private.

I used to work for British Railways in my youth.

x

Swapsies

I am considering swapping my blogs over and using  Dollyclothespeg for happier stuff, this is for privacy reasons so that certain people hopefully won't find the 'other stuff' I have written.  Either that or deleting. 

I don't know what to do or how to do it.  I have been considering this for some time hence the absence, also I don't want to lose the friends/followers I have.  Does that sound vain? 

In fact the more I write the more sure I am of swapping.  I will give it a go,  (amongst all the busyness which I will tell you about later). 

Wish me luck!

x

A Much Better Birthday

I am incredibly tired so this may be a bit scrappy......

Cutty Sark 

The Painted Hall

Painted ceiling in the Chapel of Ss Peter and Paul Old Royal Navel College

We went to Greenwich, The FW, Me, Eldest Boy and The Daughter.

All were well behaved.

We had a  shortish boat trip which I loved and The Daughter was unsure of.

I had lots of cards (unusual) including a "Sister in Law" from The FWs sister - a first in 32 years (I'm in, people) but none from Best Friend.

Chocolates, flowers, ambrosia choc custard (my fave), moneyz, amazon 'givoutchers', a jewellery hangy thing (lol no jewels left, all sold) and a coffee mug/cake plate.  In the Greenwich market I bought a vintage tin and little #vintage brooch.

We ate at Frankie & Bennys cos that seemed the easiest thing to do as we were StARVing.

The Most Beautiful Painted By My Daughter Painting ever in the whole wide world best present ever ever ever! (phew). I will add photo later as camera full.

that's all for now, need to watch Big Brother (don't hate me)

xx

PS 1 - My photography is not great, just snaps/reminders of the day.
PS 2 - The FW will mention, maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow how much he spent (he always does, I'm used to this)
PS 3 - Disappointed in Best Friend - what can I say?
PS 4 - crocheting like a loon to make enough stuff for half a stall at the Artists in the Woods in Faversham (oops, a clue to my whereabouts!)
PS5 - Parking £2.50 an hour WTFF

Sugarman.........

I have just been blown away by BBC4's Looking for Sugarman (Rodriguez) documentary/film this evening......

of course if I was a clever person I would add a musical/film clip type thingie......

but I'm not so you will have to search yourselves, it will be worth it and I'm happy to wait.


In the meantime, there has been a short interval for

• a bout of the blues 
• some financial concerns and decisions made
• a 60th celebration for best friend where her boyfriend kinda insulted me
• a bout of the greys
• a funeral  (Danny Williams 'Moon River' oh my)
• and subsequent trip to florist with a complaint (unlike MiLs funeral where the tribute they made was beautiful) and a 50% reduction which will be donated to the Alzheimers charity in FiL's name.

So, there we are, a tad overwhelmed, a mite concerned, a little less.

xx

pictures of stuff next time, maybe

Not sure how to begin......(Reunited with Mum)

so I'll jump right in to say that Dad (that's Father in law) is sinking fast.

Dad has Alzheimers and has had this for about 9 years and has been on Arisept from the beginning.  He deteriorated quickly in the past three months and has had a stroke recently and now has a chest infection.  He is on morphine now and the end is very near.

We may (probably) won't see him at the end as I don't feel able to insist on going to the care home in the middle of the night (this night) as I did with Mum (Mother in law) only a short time ago (Mum passed away in the early hours of 5 Feb this year).  Husband does not want to go, just as he did not want to go and therefore did not stay at his mother's side when she passed.

As I sat with him after the phone call (at the same time as before, spookily) he said he wanted to carry on and go to his little handyman job tomorrow and that "no-one could criticize me for not going" which I thought was an odd thing to say.

Today has been an intense day for me (long hospital appt with best friend) so I am knackered and have toothache as well.  So I am in bed not sleeping, thinking a lot and wondering whether to continue with my plans and obligations for Wednesday as usual.

On the one hand I have sympathy for husband* in losing both parents so quickly, on the other he was not interested in visiting for visiting's sake and he gave lipservice to grief in the days after losing Mum.

When I attempted to comfort him after the phone call he avoided me so I sat to one side and tried to find the words of sympathy, without outwardly saying "get off your arse and don't let your sister go through this again without one of her brothers with her".  I did not feel able to say "take me up there and I will stay" -  just as I did with Mum - I wussed out and now I feel bad.

Tomorrow neither of us will be home to take the call when it comes and I bet if he gets the call on his mobile he probably won't call me.

It will be an odd day.

But I will be speaking to his sister at some point to apologise for not going this time.

There is deeper guilt in all this and I will be honest and say that all the previous anguish within husband's family about the house being sold for their care home fees is ironic because now most of it is still in the bank** and therefore available for the inheritances!***

Good night and I will see you soon xx


Dad passed away at 1.30am Thurs 8 May, 13 weeks after Mum.


* Note that I feel unable to use his normal nickname at the moment.

** Mum had money in the bank for the first time in her life, never got to appreciate/spend it and had it for only 4 months, then her half of the house went back to Dad, (though I have no idea when or how because it is none of my concern,  but I expect sister in law's husband knows every little thing *wink*).

*** Not mine, I hasten to add, this is for the grandchildren and the three remaining children.  One of whom was honest and spoke up about losing his inheritance when the decisions were being made about selling the house and paying for care homes.

Creeping.....

The depression is creeping up on me again.

It's scarier this time because there is no hormonal/menopausal fug to blame it on.

I will try to fight it.

x

In arrears..............

I owe you all a blog post, a big one probably.

So much has been happening, some good, some not so.

Lots of interesting thoughts and mental 'writing' that gets forgotten whilst shopping and cleaning loos.

Daughter's birthday - 17 (what!!)

Hospital visit  - mulling over a letter (clarification, not complaint lol)

etc

etc

Have a picture, on account.

Dearest Mother-in-law's funeral tributes.

That's all for the moment.  I have been reading and occasional commenting on other blogs.  But now I have to get up (carefully, as now I have lower back pain, ouch) and pretend to be mummy/wifey and take care of everyone else.

x

Unexpected

Life has been somewhat interesting of late..........

• We had an bereavement totally out of the blue, I will write more of this another time.
• The menopausal headfug is lifting a little, the dimmer switch on the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned up a couple of notches yay.
• Financial fuckwittery has not been pleasant.  All the money I had paid off the credit card* last year has been wiped out in two short weeks, grrrrr.
• Dearest, darling daughter is so, so, so much better due to the wonderful counsellor (and probably natural growing-up too), she is a joy.  
• The weather - yikes.
• Disillusioned with Best Friend, we will still always be friends (probably) but well, it is hard to explain but  'fings ain't wot they used ter be' if you get my drift.  As well as the long periods of time without communicating** when we did speak she said something dismissive and deeply upsetting about Depression (I knew there was something there in previous phone calls we had had).
• Poorly ageing doggie (fleas too, yuk).  He is ten (what!!) and is showing signs of arthritis.  He had a sudden flare up and was shivering and internally growling, luckily the tail was still wagging so I knew it wasn't a stroke.  Scared daughter so much she said to him "you had better not die too or I'll kill you".  Poor love.  A couple of days of junior aspirin put him right, or at least until a week later he flew out the catflap again and hurt himself.  So funny seeing a little dog doing the "dot and carry one" walk.  We can't afford the vet so I will have to drag The FW to the PDSA soon (unless I can take him on the train - the dog not the fw lol).
• An emotionally distressed niece.  Now diagnosed with a Personality Disorder.  I have been acting as mediator between her and her mother. Not fun.
• Lots of things involved with the bereavement.
• Haven't been able to get to the horses as much as I would like, and now my friend has to move to an Assisted Livery.  This is due to the land being sold to the Russians (who are taking over the little village and adjacent hamlet too, they have bought the pub and lots of adjacent land).  So I will be just visiting instead of helping.  The rain has been interesting.
• Trying to teach 40/50 year knitters to crochet - not easy!
• Thinking about opening an Etsy shop to sell my vintage dolls house furniture and houses.  Just thinking at the moment.  Or the local indoor boot fair maybe.  I am not a natural seller.  Purchasing though, I do very well indeed.  Have recently spent money on yarn that I shouldn't have.  Though this was before the financial shenanigans.
• Lots of crochet - and knitting too - wonders will never cease!!
• Lots and LOTS of blog reading, I need lessons how to update my blog, pretty it up and make it work and look better.

this is an old photo, (I need to take and upload more)

Okay, it's time to get up and do stuff, mountains of washing, housewifery, meeting best friend (testing the waters), collecting train tickets yadda yadda.

Welcome to my new follower, I did notice you arrive and I apologise for not saying hello before. Hello, hello, would you like a biscuit?
 
Love you, and I promise not to leave it too long next time.

* house hold bill payments - NOT handbag purchases
** I made a point of Not phoning her to see when (and indeed if) she would contact me, which sounds petty but in reality isn't.

Still fightin' it.............oh and Happy New Year to All

1. FW fixing boiler with a slight mood on 'cos his local (ahem in the next village 4 miles up the road) is closing down* and he is staying in for New Years!!!
2. The realisation that 'other' contact is still going on.  Will keep you posted.
3. Titting about instead of tidying up.
4. Am determined to de-clutter etc in prep - for what...who knows!
5. Tons more stick picking after the last couple of stormy days, the field is gloopy so am in danger of losing my wellies with every step. 

nearly finished (on xmas eve) present for daughter's friend

lush xmas cake made by son's friend-who-is-a-girl

I couldn't quite manage to clear this particular stick

At the moment I am in bed with the tv on (Dara O'Brian and then maybe Gary Barlow) trying to stay awake, or indeed sleep, until 2014 begins.  Just as he came in from the cabin in the garden I announced I was going to bed.  I really really couldn't keep my eyes open.  So he is down there sulking.  Who cares?

The boys are out with their friends - good, they have a bit of a life.

Friends, I am hoping next year is better.

xx

* The Russians are taking over the next village buying up the land/pub etc.  The Russian Olympic Horses were kept in the posh livery there.

A (brief) Christmas Post

Merry Christmas to you

And I sincerely hope for A Happy New Year

No tinsel this year as the cat has started eating it!

This time last year was one of the saddest times of my life

I have felt, in recent weeks, so much better

I pray God it continues 

Thank you all for making me feel less invisible

and enabling me to unload my burden a little

I hope to write of nicer things (and share pics too) next year

Love

Susan

x

RIP Nelson Mandela

Very sad news this evening.

It was not unforeseen, yet still a shock.

The world was a better place because of him.

I hope the world does not let his memory down.

RIP Madiba.

 

As promised.................

Early morn? Late noon? answers on a postcard please.

Where's my breakfast? Are you doing my breakfast? Is that my breakfast? Is that you? Is that my bucket? Where's my breakfast?

Early morning water fill, note to self, extra sockage next time!

Err-hem... a selfie (on the way to the water, part one)

That looks like the sea in the distance, but it's just the view

As promised here are some random pics.  I think you can click on them for a better look.  (I think).  Even when it is raining I enjoy being here.  Me, who used to huddle indoors with the lights and the telly on.  I don't come every day 'cos Ness works shifts and sometimes it's a rush but it's still good, all good.

There's a whole water saga* with a steep hill involved which is a killer on the stumpy legs.  Haven't had a shock from the electric fence yet but there's still time harhar.  I climb through the gaps you can see there as we never go through the gates for some inexplicable reason.  Much leg-cocking and hilarity and almost face planting in the mud. 
Oh the mud....you can't see it here but trust me there is much, much muddy areas that we plodge through (still good, all good).

I feel nearly, almost, should whisper really so as not to wake the shit fairy, normal-ish. 

We've had the sudden death of The FW's good friend which was a nasty shock and totally unnecessary, but he was in denial of his diabetes diagnosis.  It has been a horrid time and not yet over due to pm and delayed funeral etc.  I have been drafted to fill the gap in the pub quiz team, which I had started to do a couple of weeks before and had sat opposite the guy whilst he was obviously in distress but brushed off all concern.  I have insisted this is temporary as I am not a pub person.

There has been a knitty wooly club started and I went with trepidation expecting to be a beginner type with my little efforts and have found myself teaching someone to crochet and 'ahem' doing it better than the lady running it (ooops).  I am better than I thought.  How did that happen??

I have also taken home an application form for a new charity shop and am trying to figure out a good half day to give them.  I will have to organise my time better.  I hope they can wait for me or I may miss the boat again.

So this is what I have been up to, there's probably more that I have forgotten and I know there are better pics. 

Much lovings to you all,
x

* It's pathetic but someone is nicking the water from the butt, who and why we don't know yet.  I will do some arse kicking when I find out as it's my stumpy legs that have to go up the steep, oh, steep steep hill.

Horsin' around............And gettin' a ruddy grip!

Firstly, I will apologise for not being around much.

Lots of various stuff happening ie

Helping friend V with her horses 2 or 3 days a week.  She isn't rich at all. Just loves horses and works very hard to keep them.  Her daughter came home from Europe with a colt after working as a groom (she is only 17) and after a terrible time of being bullied and feeling suicidal.  So I had to help V prep and then move to a bigger field and stable in the same place.  After 7 years this was quite tough for her especially as she had taken a crappy nettle filled field and made it beautiful and had been moved to another nettle filled/cob shite filled field with ragwort and lots of deadfall from trees. 

So I got my fat little bod out the chair and started barrow pushing, stick picking, fence climbing, hill (steep, so very steep) climbing, baling twine plaiting - to make economical useful ties for just about anything - shaving scattering, haybale dragging etc.  My dear friend is about my height and finds it hard to maintain an 8 stone weight (God, I hate her) and has arms like Madonna.  She hefts water buckets and haybales and does it all at a trot, whilst wittering and worrying on.

My job as well, as all the above, is to tell her "to get a grip, get a ruddy grip" a la Mel from the Great British Bake Off.

Man, that first day I could hardly walk, but now I love it and have found some old wellies that I had to cut down because my calves have got bigger..... these are very old wellies..... to be more sensibly dressed.  It is in a lovely area just up the road, though you would hardly know it was there.   You can hear the dual carriageway but can't see it and there is a sweet sheltered valley (where the daughter and colt are now) and brisk windy hills and fields with lots of other people and their horses in various places.

I will sort out a couple of photos to give you an idea.

Daughter has started college and is love, love, loving it. phew.

Haven't seen much of best friend because her fella now has prostrate cancer, is facing redundancy and she spends a lot of time up there despite having daughter at college here.  Her gallstones have returned and she is in great pain as well as all her other pain.  We spoke on the phone today and I have counselled her, so that she can counsel boyfriend and his colleagues (one of whom was given the redundancy letter in her hospital bed - shame on them!) on fighting the close down of the local radio station where they work. 

Life is so fucking tough everywhere!!

And yet, and yet I am feeling better.  Even more better than when I felt better a few months ago when I wrote about that in my other blog.  Sorry, bad grammar but it's staying there.

I have been wanting to write this for a while, but couldn't seem to get it off the ground, but after commenting on some other blogs (see, I am being a good blogger now) and having a lovely response to a comment from John at Going Gently today I thought I had better just 'get on with it' just as I am telling V to do.

I pinkie swear on the photos and there may be a 'special' one. or not.

xx

Oh, oh the Yarndale envy

Oh dear I am so envious, I long to be in Skipton this weekend.  Deep deep deepest sigh.

I made bunting and sent it and may, just may have spotted the tiniest corner glimpse of it in Lucy's latest blog post.  Or is that wishful thinking.

Ooh ooh Strictly is about to start...................................